Overview: I created this ritual because one way or another, there will be white people in the future, and it’s up to us to shape how we’ll show up. It is an offering to anyone looking to work with their own ancestors using a liberatory lens. How might we evolve if we learned to meet our people — and therefore ourselves — with both an outpouring of deep love and gratitude and the hope and expectation that we can do better? The ritual can be used by people of all races, but I designed it with white people in mind, because I think everyone will suffer less when we stop lionizing, demonizing or ignoring our people and instead start honestly reckoning with them and our legacy. Curse-breaking ancestor work can help us break multigenerational legacies of trauma and do our part to dream our families and communities into a liberated future for all.

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Why this ritual?

I created this ritual as an offering to anyone who is looking to turn to work with their own ancestors using a liberatory lens. It’s designed to be used by people of all races, but I created it with white people in mind, because I think things would change if we stopped lionizing, demonizing or ignoring our family histories, and instead started reckoning with our ancestors and meeting them–and therefore ourselves–with much more love and rigor. One of our roles as white people is to get our people free, so that all people can get free. This curse-breaking cultural work can help us face intergenerational traumas and do our part to dream our families and communities into a healthier future for all. 

Setup for facilitators

• I have used this ritual with people brand new to ancestor or genealogy work, as well as with people who are looking to deepen their existing practice.
• Your first step as the facilitator is to connect with the person at the center of this ritual to ascertain whether this ritual aligns with what they’re seeking. If the answer is yes, you have your seeker. 
• Ask the seeker to invite two or three witnesses–trusted people who support their exploration of ancestor work–who can participate in the ritual in person. 
• The ritual is designed to take place in person and last about 30 minutes, plus ample time on either side for logistics and spaciousness.
• Arrange for a quiet, comfortable space for participants to be in a circle with chairs or pillows. Have a fire at the center ready to light, or have a candle and lighter at hand.

Ritual flow

What follows is the actual script of the ritual for the facilitator. Anything in italics is a silent note to you.

Opening

Welcome to this ritual of Accepting the Assignment of Ancestor Work, a group ritual that is designed to support seekers who are considering working with their ancestors, or who are already doing so and are considering going deeper by applying a liberatory lens to their ancestor practice.  To be a seeker, you can be brand new to ancestor or genealogy work, or you may be considering going deeper with your practice. 

This ritual is now open. Light the candle or start the fire.

[Name of seeker], you are the seeker in today’s ritual. I am here to create and hold the container that will support us throughout, and you are at the center of this ritual. Your role is to be open to what comes through for you as you explore this path, participate wholeheartedly in the process, and to respond to my questions and prompts. 

We also have a circle of witnesses. You all are here to help me hold the container, support this seeker, and reflect back what you hear.

Grounding

Pause after each of these statements to let the circle take it in.

• Take a moment and notice your overall experience.
• Recall a time when someone was kind to you.
• Remember everything you can about this kind instance – the words, tone of voice, touch, gestures, or actions the kind person used to soothe and comfort you or to provide you with help or return you to safety.
• As you recall what the kind person did, notice how your body is recalling the memory right now – body sensations, etc.  Is it almost as if you’re back there again?
• Recall the emotion you felt back then and notice what you feel now in this moment as you recall the experience.
• If a negative aspect of the memory arises, set that part of the memory on an imaginary shelf and come back to the sensory aspects of this memory of kindness.
• As you come to a close, notice what you’re feeling in your body now and your overall experience now compared to when you started the exercise.
• Recalling kindnesses in this felt-sense way helps us invite deeper relationship and imagine a future beyond the wound of severance from our history and our people. 

Calling in support

I invite everyone in this circle to call in a beloved ancestor, blood or not, human or more than human, as an intermediary. This ancestor is a trusted being who has crossed over, a creature or part of nature that was kind to you. It might be a forest, an aunt, a cat, a body of water. Let’s go around now and speak their names into the circle, asking for their protection, support and companionship for the ritual. 

Go around the circle to hear from each person, including yourself.

Let us also call on the creatures and beings beneath our feet and in the earth that holds us up throughout our lives: tree roots, bedrock, worms, moles, underground rivers, caves, the molten core. To the group: What else would you like to call on from this earth?

To the speaker: Finally, I invite you to call in two friends in the world of the living, people outside of this circle, who offer you support and witnessing. Please speak their names into the circle.

Invitation to the seeker

The lesbian writer Dorothy Allison, who grew up white and poor in South Carolina, said: “Two or three things I know for sure, and one of them is that telling the story all the way through is an act of love.”  

To the seeker, pausing between each statement: 

We’re here to offer you, our seeker, a container to deepen your ancestor work. 

We invite you to feel for an opening to do the emotional, spiritual, political and collective work of reckoning with your ancestors. 

We invite you to seek a path inside yourself to release any beliefs that you will be liberated by avoiding, lionizing, or demonizing your family’s history. 

We invite you to use this ritual to set into motion an opening for learning, connecting and reckoning. 

Is there any other prayerful intention that you want to name as we engage in this ritual? 

The Nine Whys

Your sense of your own purpose in doing ancestor work will continue to evolve over time. What feels possible now may be more expansive than what felt possible before, and this feeling is likely to grow as you deepen in your practice of ancestor work. Right now we’re going to explore together what your purpose is in this moment. To surface more about your purpose, I’m going to ask you a series of questions called The Nine Whys. 

For you personally, what’s the purpose of ancestor work?

Why is that important to you?

Keep asking, “Why? Why? Why?” up to nine times or until the seeker can go no deeper because they’ve reached their fundamental purpose for this work. Once they have what feels like their bedrock why, invite them to write it down. 

Witness reflections

To the seeker: Are you open to hearing your purpose reflected back to you by the circle?

If yes: Witnesses, I invite you to reflect back to the seeker what you heard in their intention. Please keep your focus on them, and on what you heard them say they are seeking.

(Another option is to ask for consent to offer your own invitation to them, based on what you heard: Are you open to receiving something from me at this time? If yes: Here’s an invitation that arose in me in witnessing you…)

Final invitations

Invite seeker to share: What do you anticipate might get in the way of you deepening into this why?

After they speak: This gets to be here too. 

Invite seeker to share: Is there anything you want to ask of your trusted ancestor to support you as you turn to this work?

Let her answer.

May it be so.

What are some ways you would like to receive messages of support or direction from your trusted ancestor?

Let her answer.

Thank this ancestor and all ancestors present for this ritual.

Closing

To the seeker: What else do you need to name for them to bring this ritual to a close?

Honor the work you’re inviting them into.

Invite them to take their bedrock why and put somewhere meaningful in their home, maybe alongside a family memento

This ritual is now closed. Blow out candles or put out the fire.

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